Overeating I mean. I know this is the problem.
I'm about to rant here...I have gained 10lbs since I turned 30, which makes sense but 5 of those have been solid since i quit smoking. The other 5 seems to fluctuate depending on how much food I eat. I sometimes eat more than 1500 calories a day but usually after snowboarding, I'm vegetarian, but still, that doesn't matter when you eat a jar of artichoke hearts, half a jar of olives, crackers then spaghetti. I snowboard hard saturday and sunday and i love the gym but never go. I have a good excuse though, I work 60hours a week and i'm a single mom, I would rather spend time with my son. If I don't, he acts out in school.
My problems seem to all revolve around indulgence. Smoking, overeating. Luckily drinking is kept in check and I steer away from pot cause it makes me overeat (and i can't afford it) but if I had it, I would smoke it till its gone. I love prescriptions like vicoden & valium but I don't take them, cause I love them too much. Another thing I've had to quit in my time. So yeah, eating is the big problem here but its indicative of my nature.
So again, indulgence is the problem. I was watching Americas top model and this one girl was talking to another heavier girl about her overeating tendencies and she said, "its all in your head" which really hit home. It is all in my head dammit! I'm not hungry all the time, I want to eat for other reasons. Who care what those reasons are, basically I'm a sucker with no self control. When I control one aspect of my life, another one slips away.
Somehow i need to figure out how to abstain from overeating. I once joked around with my friend that I wish I had the willpower to be anorexic! Obviously a joke but really, how do those women do it? I think it's an obsession to control and mine is an obsession to be out of control.
Sometimes when I smoked I would buy a pack and smoke them all in a row and other times I could control the addiction to 3/day (as it shows on my quit meter which is kind of a joke, shoulda been more honest when I set it up). I need to control my eating and be honest with the fact that its another addiction. It makes me feel so bad about myself and I can't stand the way my clothes are fitting.
I know this is a
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Quit Meter
$228,955.00
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 5147
Hours: 15
Minutes: 19
Seconds: 28
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45791
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
915,820
Cigarettes Not Smoked