Healthy Mind Solutions

Home
Main Forum
Quit Smoking
Forum for New Users and General Discussion
Toxic People

Advanced Search Form

Toxic People

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Todash

Note well struck, symphony heard. How much living did we do behind the blue veil?...Not much, we used that smoky curtain to choke down (literally and figuratively) what we really thought and felt...And why?...In my case I did not think what I thought or felt was valid...But that can't be true because, to me, all I am is what I think and feel. So to deny these things is to deny my very existence. oh oh, that's a problem...

I have been working on the formula for invisibility, but since I have thus far been unsuccessful, I must continue to live in the visible world. So until I master the big disappearing act I too am going to validate myself in a way that is not hurtful but at the same time allows me to recognize toxic folks and make them disappear instead (figuratively of course)...Sometimes I think that people do not realize the effect they have on others, me included, but I am working on it...

stay well

nonic

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1265
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 37,950
Amount Saved: $13,282.50
Life Gained:
Days: 247 Hrs: 16 Mins: 17 Seconds: 18

Quit Meter

$71,232.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1559 Hours: 14

Minutes: 9 Seconds: 51

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6784

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

203,520

Cigarettes Not Smoked

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Bumped for new quitters and myself

Todash,

Thank you for this post. I am going to get this book and add it to my arsenal. I read this post before I started my quit and I am so glad I did. It gave me the strength to deal with some toxic people in my life today and saved my quit. I did not smoke. I did speak out, before I walked away and removed some toxic people from my life. You are so right everything is so much clearer without cigarettes and nicotine. I would never have been able to see it or do something about it if I was still smoking. I would have caved into the nicotine. I still a non-smoker and proud of it.

Rose

I have been quit for 1W 5D 23h (12 days). I have saved 1D 13h 45m of my life. My Quit Date: 5/29/2010 10:01 PM

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/30/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 13
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 520
Amount Saved: $156.00
Life Gained:
Days: 1 Hrs: 18 Mins: 57 Seconds: 18

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1209

Great Post Todash. When preparing for this quit, I did try to prepare, and to understand situations and people .... that would normally send me running to light up. I understood, I either have to speak up for "myslef" or let the situation go...

Thank You for putting this all in to words. We can only be responsible for oursleves, not what other people say or do. Sometimes we have to realize they are toxic and negative.

Life will have ups and downs, things we don't like to do, hiding behind the blue cloud is not going to change it or make it better.

Bonnie

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/7/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 7
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 119
Amount Saved: $23.80
Life Gained:
Days: 1 Hrs: 0 Mins: 17 Seconds: 23

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 672

Great post Todash, i can certainly relate to this.

To suddenly come to the realisation that a certain family member whom you've been very close to your whole life has been inflicting such emotional carnage. What to do !

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2005
Smoke-Free Days: 1959
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 68,565
Amount Saved: $17,826.90
Life Gained:
Days: 284 Hrs: 0 Mins: 13 Seconds: 31

Quit Meter

$14,127.60

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 703 Hours: 17

Minutes: 52 Seconds: 17

Life Gained
Quit Meter

3860

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

57,900

Cigarettes Not Smoked

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 984

Those lyrics, Dave...I'm awestruck!

My rocking out playlist usually includes AC/DC, Led Zeppelin or if I'm seriously annoyed Metallica gets in there. Yet hubs and I are going to hear live Vivaldi later this year! Music is such an emotional temperature gauge, it's almost silly. I don't seriously know what I'd do without it.

x T

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 1229
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 28,267
Amount Saved: �7,773.43
Life Gained:
Days: 109 Hrs: 16 Mins: 1 Seconds: 40

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 363

Its a great stress reliever Dave!!

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 4/2/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 406
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 16,240
Amount Saved: $4,872.00
Life Gained:
Days: 60 Hrs: 15 Mins: 54 Seconds: 53

Quit Meter

$40,642.88

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1090 Hours: 9

Minutes: 9 Seconds: 33

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5955

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

178,650

Cigarettes Not Smoked

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 639

What a difference a day makes.....This site, some Snap Out Of It advice, and starting a new day at 9pm yesterday is putting the train back on track......trying to focus on things for more than 3-seconds at a time still.....and moving projects into the Out Box.....

Maybe I need to do some headbanging like PB....for some added relief.... RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

(I wrote that lyric myself :))

Keep the Quit,

Dave

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/19/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 479
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 14,370
Amount Saved: $3,772.13
Life Gained:
Days: 81 Hrs: 6 Mins: 29 Seconds: 58

Quit Meter

$54,514.22

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1259 Hours: 10

Minutes: 2 Seconds: 41

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6027

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

180,810

Cigarettes Not Smoked

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 984

Kaiser glad you found this 'keepable'! Thanks too Josie, this is the only place in the world I can share thoughts like this so I'm grateful to you mods for making it available to us.

Dave, I hope you're feeling more uplifted today - I've had so many nights like the one you were having, and it takes a great big leap of faith to climb out. I hope with all I have to hope that you're back on the good side of serenity today.

PB, wifey #3 has fantastic taste. Oh, and in books too!!

I'm not surprised in the least to see you're a metal head, you seem to groove that way in your posts. I never heard that song but just looked up the lyrics - love this bit:

What I am is all that

Really matters now
The lies are gone.

Such is life without cigarettes, eh?! It really is a brave new world.

Love, inner peace and strength to all.

x T

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 1228
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 28,244
Amount Saved: �7,767.10
Life Gained:
Days: 109 Hrs: 14 Mins: 18 Seconds: 30

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 363

"We also understand that drug users are typically seeking a way to dissolve the pain in their lives, to make something about their reality a bit less harsh, a version of real that they dreamed about but haven't quite been able to find."

Reminded me of a song I cannot stop listening too, Rob Halford's, Silent Scream's. He says near the end of the song, " every time I scream, I'm killing pain". Yes, I'm a 43 year old Metal Head!! My counselor told me when I was 19 to never stop writing music, poor, crazy me didn't listen..LOL I still have to listen to it, and LOUD, I might add.

Wifey # 3 has this book, she isn't a smoker, but a very bad judge of character. She relies on me immensely to help her with that part of her life. Being a poker player, I can usually spot the BS from a mile away.

Awesome thoughts Todash, you never disappoint. I find myself confronting a lot of things these days, no more hiding in the fog of chemical death we called our friend.
My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 4/2/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 406
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 16,240
Amount Saved: $4,872.00
Life Gained:
Days: 60 Hrs: 14 Mins: 27 Seconds: 57

Quit Meter

$40,642.88

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1090 Hours: 9

Minutes: 9 Seconds: 33

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5955

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

178,650

Cigarettes Not Smoked

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 639

Today I am down on myself. Overwhelmed with stress, lack of confidence and overall frustration with myself. I sense how my toxicity is impacting those around me. Vowing not to smoke again, I ponder next steps....do I take pills to bring me up? do I take pills to make me sleep? Feeling completely lethargic, alone and depressed. Tonight I log into the SSC and find this awaiting...

Todash.....you are amazing....Thanks and Amen:

Keep the Quit,

Dave

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/19/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 478
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 14,340
Amount Saved: $3,764.25
Life Gained:
Days: 81 Hrs: 2 Mins: 5 Seconds: 14

Quit Meter

$54,514.22

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1259 Hours: 10

Minutes: 2 Seconds: 41

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6027

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

180,810

Cigarettes Not Smoked

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

Toxic People