Healthy Mind Solutions

Home
Main Forum
Quit Smoking
Avoiding relapse and slipping
Becoming a non smoker with a partner who smokes

Advanced Search Form

Becoming a non smoker with a partner who smokes

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

Yeah, I have had some non-smoking significant others. I truly can't imagine how they put up with it. I actually feel kind of ashamed now for putting them through it.

...Well, except for one guy. He might have kind of deserved it.

Quit Meter

$24,817.85

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 671 Hours: 6

Minutes: 58 Seconds: 0

Life Gained
Quit Meter

4819

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

96,380

Cigarettes Not Smoked

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Kinda stinky???

I don't know how my non-smoking wife tolerated my stench for those 27 years!!!

Thankfully she did! That, my friends is true love!

I'm so glad that I finally wanted my quit more than I wanted to smoke! That's how we make our loved ones happy!

Jim

Quit Meter

$47,580.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1161 Hours: 13

Minutes: 58 Seconds: 3

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6344

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

190,320

Cigarettes Not Smoked

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

My roommate smokes. He does it outside, as those have always been the house rules here. It doesn't really trigger me. In fact, the way he smells when coming in after a smoke reminds me of how distasteful the habit is.

I would have a much harder time with a boyfriend or husband who smoked at this point. Right now, I don't think it would trigger me to re-start. But I just wouldn't want to snuggle up next to someone with cigarette smoke on them. It is kind of stinky.

Quit Meter

$24,817.85

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 671 Hours: 6

Minutes: 58 Seconds: 0

Life Gained
Quit Meter

4819

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

96,380

Cigarettes Not Smoked

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 610

It is harder if there is another smoker around all the time. or if they leave nice cig butts around to pick up and smoke. BUT, once you decide that you are not going to smoke anymore, it makes it easier. If you see the butts, quickly smash them and throw them away. You have decided NOT to smoke anymore..stay with that decision. You can do it.

Quit Meter

$91,708.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 6066 Hours: 7

Minutes: 10 Seconds: 41

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45854

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

458,540

Cigarettes Not Smoked

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Nickie!!!

Welcome to the SSC!!! There have been many members who have successfully quit while their spouses continued to smoke and you can do it too! Just psych yourself up and crave this quit more than anything! It's great to see that you have set your quit date, now go through all of the milestones in the Program and utilize the other quitting tools offered here (above tabs). The program will really help you on your way to freedom from this addiction!

Do have a heart to heart with your hubby and express to him how bad you want this quit and ask for his understanding (if things get "hairy") and for his unconditional support!!! My wife never smoked, so I never smoked inside... ask him if he wouldn't mind doing the same. The suggestions below are also excellent about having him keep his cigarettes, lighters and ashtrays out of the house to help keep you temptation at bay! If he loves you, he should be very considerate and happy to do these small things for you!

There are other threads concerning this subject here on the forums and I'll try to find them and bump them forward for you when I get a spare moment! So, how to prevent the relapse... think about N.O.P.E. Not One Puff Ever! If you truly want this quit more than anything else, you will need to live by N.O.P.E for the REST of your life! It's a big-time commitment, but it is soooo worth it! Soooo.... prepare well, Nickie and get ready for the change in life style! Stay positive and crave your quit!

You can do it!!!

Jim

Quit Meter

$47,580.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1161 Hours: 13

Minutes: 58 Seconds: 3

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6344

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

190,320

Cigarettes Not Smoked

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi NickieLee;

I've tried to quit many times before as well. My husband is a smoker too. I often felt that he would sabotage my quits on weekends so he'd have someone to smoke and drink beer with - but not now - new house smoking rules go a long way to making sure I stay quit this time! The beer part of the equation still works, so that's a good concession all around ; )

FYI - here is another recent thread that covers some good discussion on this topic . . "Is it possible . . ." by Workin' On It. A worthwhile peek, I'd say : )

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Hi Nickie

My husband is also still smoking, but he's being supportive with my quit. We both never smoked in the house, so that is making it easier. I have asked him to be out of sight when he's smoking, so he'll usually go around to the back of the house where I can't see him. I've also asked him to NEVER leave cigarettes lying around where I can see them, it's just too tempting. Good luck, you can do it!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi NickieLee,

Many successful quitters have lived with smokers. It is more challenging but it can be done. Be sure to set ground rules. Talk to your boyfriend about how he can support you and how you can both manage the temptation of his cigarettes. Perhaps, he only smokes outside? Or maybe he tries to avoid having his cigarettes and ash trays laying around the house? Whatever you decide to do make sure you work on it together. Let him now how he can help and be sure to include him in your celebrations. Who knows, your good example may even convince him to quit!

What do you think you need to do to ensure this time is different? What did you learn from your last quit attempts that you can employ now?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1

Hi Everyone

My name is Nickie and I am new here.

I have quit many times. For months. and then I relapse. Which usually involves staring at my boyfriends cigerettes until I can't stand it anymore and finally smoking one.

I know I can quit. It is keeping the quit that is hard.

Is there anyone else out there who has quit and kept there quit while living with someone who smokes? How do you deal with it?

Nickie

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

Becoming a non smoker with a partner who smokes